The Economy

I don't get what's actually wrong.
If there's no money or whatever it is where did it go?
And how can the Government no just print more of it?
It's the same wae debt in Africa n thar, why do they no just print more money to pay cunts back.
And another thing wae all the aids over there we shouldny be sending over tins a food, should be sending over boxes a jonnys seeing as ye get them free everywhere anyway. Cannie blame the cunts if their all sexual predators.
But aye this economy hing, someone want to explain it to me?

Two Left Feet

Ever noticed how loads of cunts fae Glesga cannie walk right.
They've aw got limps or sumhin or their just bevvied.
There's this one wee old women in particular you might have seen.
She walks bent at a 90 degree angle wae her bag at her arse. Next time I see her al get a picture. Feel sorry for her, but the rest of the cunts just have some sort of walking disorder. Must be a Glasgow thing.

Blue Red Square

4% volume.
In this case it truely is quantity instead of quality.


P.s that train conductor was a darling, gave me ma fare for next to nout, says he only charges "neds" full price. What a champion.

Tonight

I had pure thought of something amazin' to dae the night. Thought aboot it when I was in bed last night. Woke up this morning, remembered I'd thought of something but coodny mind whit it was.
Ever dae that?
It was actually something pure amazing, like driving the car aff a cliff and parachuting oot, but no to that extreme. But it was gid none the less, and a was well looking forward to dain it coz fuck all good happens during the week. Needed that.
Gonni be on ma heed aw day.

Gut Gut in the Rut Rut

Why the hell am I sitting in just now, its a lovely day and Diana Vickers is in Glasgow.
I should be up stalking her, falling in love, getting married, having an affair and selling my story to the paper to make millions. But would I really do that, maybe I would adore her and have her sing me to sleep at night, long as she didnt whip her tootsies oot every time and gadze me oot. I'd make her wear 5 pairs of socks to make sure she never got them out. Or maybe I could just get over the fact I hate feet and develop a foot fetish just for her.
The weddings due soon.
Lets just imagine. Look how happy we look.

Oasis

It's quarter past 3,
and i really do fucking love oasis!
i mean, these are crazy days and they make meeee shayyyyiiiiine!
Thats the shit im talking bout.

Volcano Burger

Blew the mouth aff me last night.
Blew the arse aff me this morning.


My conclusion:
Totally worth it.

Wake Up Call

What a better way to wake up than yer maw blasting some beasting duran duran while she's dain the housework.
This is the life!

Lady Gaga

Folk pure fancy her, I don't think I do.
She just looks pure wierd. And when she wears aw these daft dresses n that i just get put off. Maybe it's because I saw that "larger" burd dressed as her (trying to be polite here) at tht party, could just have triggered a repulsive reaction in my brain. It does things like that.
I got telt she was bald aswell, maybe I'm getting bammed up but when ye look at her hair in the pokerface video her hair looks fake. Check it below.
Think I'll just stick to ma wee Lilly Allen. Decent tunes but.

Books

For the first time in 10 years, I've finally read a book from start to finish.
I'm quite proud of myself even if it has took me 6 months to read it.

Islamic Dating Sites

Ye seen these things?
The women are still dressed up in their mad vales.
How the fuck are ye meant tae choose someone on them.
Must be like a pure lucky dip thing or a bag a revels.
Ye just pick one and see whit ye get.
Aye thats it, perfect metaphor! It's like a bag'a revels, coz ye dunno whit it is till ye bite intae it.
I made this for the market.
All New Islamic Dating Site Sponsered By Revels.
"Coz Ye Never Know What Yer Gonna Get!"

Reports

Just handed in ma lab reports and she looked at me n went, "Is that it all?"
aye thats fucking it!
Spent ages on that ya cunt, blot back tae poland!

Films

Whit the fuck is wae aw these films the noo, wae ads coming oot but explains nout aboot the film.
Like that watchmen, it looks gid, but what the fucks the plot or storyline.
The ad for that new jennifer aniston and owen wilson one doesny give much away either.
It's annoying coz then I pure need to take time oot ma day to look it up coz I know am no gonni go see that one.
Apparently its aboot looking after a dug.
Two words! SHITE!

Fred Durst

What the hell happened to him?
check the difference.






















Past.


Present.
He looks like a pure old geek. I am diggin the hair but. He's no even that old, 38. I better get used to it but, coz wae ma lifestyle thats what a sposse am gonni look like at that age and he probably exercised. I dont think he'll have it in him anymore, he looks worn out, I guess I'll find out when I go to download. I have faith.
I think he has memory problems, watch this video when he starts talking about has tattoo. I mean if he cant remember what happedn 2 minutes ago, how's he gonni be able to perform this festival.

USC & Urban Outfitters

I think these are my new favourite shops!

Berlini

Just heard that old expression, "yer as slow as a week in berlini!".
I mind my old geography teacher used to say it to us all the time, but back at this point I didn't know it was a prison in Glasgow. I just thought it was some boring old town in Germany that nae cunt wanted to go to coz it was shite!
Well now I know! And I think if it was a shite town in germany this phrase would be better, coz I pure imagine your first week in prison to go the fastest, everything would be new to you so it would all be exciting. Know whit a mean?

Freckle

Ones just popped up in the middle of ma chest, its annoying, just coz its right in the centre, things like that pure get to me, i wouldnt be bothered if it was to the side a bit, but coz it's right in the middle i think it makes it more noticable and just aaah.

i pure want killzone 2 aswell but i dont hink its coming out for the xbox.
no happy.

Theif.

Fucking someone stole my hat last night. Right out my back pocket, felt them take it n everything and coodnt see who'd done it. So now some cunts walking about wae ma hat on pretending to be me, probably running aboot booting wee weans n stuff and coz he has my hat on people are gonni hink it's me dain it and i'll get a bad reputation. So don't be fulled and hink it's me when its no. Just a wee heads up.

And holy fuck. Its march awready. Insane!